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Friday, September 6, 2019

Taft For President

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Good morning my fellow Americans. I am here today to give testimony to why I am the best candidate for president. I think in this day and age, where progressivism is abroad and reform is the outspoken word that America needs a hard working, dedicated man to lead them through it all. Let me begin with my past I was born in Cincinnati as a son of a well distinguished judge. I graduated nd in my class at Yale and returned to my hometown to study and practice law. I was appointed a Federal Circuit Judge at the age of 4. In the year 100, President McKinley sent me to the Philippines as a Chief Civil Administrator. While there, I became sympathetic towards the Filipino people and I became dedicated to improve their economy. My goal was reached when I built roads and schools, and gave the people participation in the government. When Roosevelt was elected into office, he made me Secretary of War and by the end of his term in 107, decided that I should his successor. Roosevelt obviously saw my determination and ambition, and made that clear to the public in the 108 Republican Convention. Roosevelt pushed my nomination through on the 1st ballot, and respectively so.


Thus bringing us to my term as President of the United States. I swept the floor with the Democrat William Bryan, beating Bryan with 15 electoral votes. While in office I fought many battles against trusts. And, oh, Mr. Roosevelt, I believe by calling yourself in your campaign the "Trust - Buster" is an overstatement, and I should reign under that title. I brought 0 suits against trusts during my 4 years in office, compared to Roosevelts 44 suits in 7 1/ years. Therefore I believe Ill be taking the title of "TrustBuster" along with being known as a "Smasher of Monopolies". In 111 I ordered the dissolution of the Standard Oil Company, which judged to be a combination in restraint of trade in violation of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act of 180. I also fought against the Supreme Courts "Rule of Reason", a doctrine held that only those combinations that "unreasonably" restrained trade were illegal in strong belief of reform policies. Also in 111, I threw an anti-trust suit against the United States Steel Corp. The monopoly that this corp. caused was tremendous and needed to come to an end. As a progressive president I sought after the end of this monopoly as well. But this angered a man that was involved with a merger that was affected by the suit, a man who was once for the ending of monopolies, but now was overpowered by money and greed, a man who I succeeded as President, Yes, I am speaking of Theodore Roosevelt. Anyway, as a dedicated conservationist I set up the Bureau of Mines to control mineral resources, rescued millions of acres of western coal lands from exploitation, and protected water-power sites from private development. OK now here we are at the election of 11, and yes I will be in the running for the Republican Nomination for the second year in a row, but I have some troublesome competition this time, ah yes, Mr. Roosevelt. The Mr. Roosevelt, who once said that he would not run for a third term, was going against his word and was also running for the Republican Nomination. Yet, sorry to say, Roosevelt was 100 delegates short of winning the nomination, therefore declaring me, William Howard Taft as the Republican Candidate. Having tasted for once the bitterness of defeat, Roosevelt, the poor loser, went on to create a third party. And in a childish attempt to win the race, Roosevelts Bull Moose Party split my Republican votes, destroying my chance to become President for the nd year in a row. So on behalf of myself and Mr. Wilson, Thanks Ted. And so concludes my speech; Thank you for your time and God Bless.


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