Respect

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Respect

Nina, Zhang

SWC 100.011

The two passages that I choose are from ¡°Fat¡±. The main story in ¡°Fat¡± is about a fat man going to the restaurant and having several conversations with the waitress. Do my essay on Respect CHEAP !

Respect is the main point of the two passages, even in the whole story. It makes one¡¯s life different just like the waitress in ¡°Fat¡±. Nevertheless, the differences are the elements that can change one¡¯s life. So respect can is everyday in our lives, and it is important to everyone.

Respect is all over the story. The fat man comes, and orders lots of food. On the other words, he gives her lots of work to do. Nevertheless, the fat man is ¡°really fat¡±, and lots of people laugh at him, but the waitress is always very nice to him

Believe me, he [the fat man] says, we don¡¯t eat like this all the time, he says. And puffs. You¡¯ll have to excuse us, he says.

Don¡¯t think a thing about it, please, I say. I like to see a man eat and enjoy himself, I say.

I don¡¯t know, he says. I guess that¡¯s what you¡¯d call it. And puffs. He arranges the napkin. Then he picks up his spoon. (Raymond Carver, page 66)

When the narrator talks about the old man, the word ¡°puff¡± occurs several times. ¡°Puff¡± is the common behavior in our day lives. But when someone puffs a lot, it may because of that person is nervous. In that story, the fat man is picked up and laughed at all the time, so he gets anxiety when he talks to others. And also if someone puffs a lot in the public, the others around him will not feel comfortable. But the girl just mentions it, does not show disgust to him. She serves him as well as other customs in the restaurant. Because she thinks that everyone in her restaurant is same to her, and she needs to serve them as well as she can. It is a kind of respect. She understand what others¡¯ needs, especially someone like the fat man who cannot get respect from most of the people, so she shows respect to every custom, not only the one that wears the nice clothes. When she uses the word ¡°enjoy¡± to tell the fat man that she likes to see him eating and enjoying himself, it actually implies that she wants to see a man that really enjoys his life. On the other hand, she doesn¡¯t satisfy her own life, but she cannot find the reason. The fat man is obviously nervous when he talks to the waitress; but, in the girl¡¯s eyes, the fat man always asks for the food that he wants and doesn¡¯t really care about others¡¯ thinking. She envies him, because she cannot choose what her life is, even her love. When others laugh at the fat man, the pictures that everyone looks down upon her appear in her mind. So she uses herself comparing with the fat man, and concludes that the fat man has a much better life than hers, even they are in the same situation.

In this passage, the narrator is confused about the life that she has by that time. When others laugh at the fat man, she doesn¡¯t, because she knows that it is not right to laugh at someone like that. Instead, she treats the fat man really politely. She thinks that is what she should do for her job, but she does not notice that because of her strong desire for respect, she shows respect to everyone.

Then the fat man keeps asking for more bread, and she serves him with out a word. Until she serves dessert to him, and he says some special words to her

I put the Special in front of the fat man and a big bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup to the side.

Thank you, he says.

You are very welcome, I say-and a feeling comes over me.

Believe it or not, he says, we have not always eaten like this.

Me, I eat and I eat and I can¡¯t gain, I say. I¡¯d like to gain, I say. (Raymond Carver, page 68)

¡°Thank you¡± is an important sentence in this passage. There are two ways to understand it. First, the fat man says ¡°thank you¡± to the girl, and a feeling comes over her. ¡°Thank you¡± must be the words that she has not heard for a long time. She is actually happy about it, because she feels that she should be treated as well as others, not just like a maid. The other way to understand it is that the fat man asks for breads and the dessert, then he says ¡°thank you¡± after he gets them. It makes the waitress thinks about her boyfriend Rudy, and the sex with him. In fact, Rudy has never asked for sex, or her opinions. She feels happy even just being asked for something, and being appreciated, although she doesn¡¯t know that is also one way to show her respect. After that, she says that ¡°I eat and I can¡¯t gain¡± to the fat man; it implies that there is too much work for her. So she can eat a lot, but all the energy that she gets from food burning out. So she cannot gain any weight. ¡°I¡¯d like to gain¡± are actually the words that the waitress tries to encourage the fat man, to make him feel that being fat is not the most horrible life in the world. By then, she starts to talk with the fat man like friends, since she feels comfortable with him; because they all think each other as a different person than anybody else. They have been laughed at and ignored, but they have never been talked as polite as the way that they talk to each other. They are both happy to be respected.

The fat man shows respect to the waitress by just saying ¡°thank you¡±. It is easy, but it shows all the respect to her and to all the work that she does for him. It is the simple word ¡°thank you¡± makes her feel much different; it raises her self-confidence. When she thinks that she already gets used to the life that she has by that time, the fat man¡¯s words awake her. And the waitress also returns respect to the fat man by serving him as attentive as anybody else.

The fat man and the waitress show their respects in different ways, but they all understand that people need to be respected. The reason that they know it better than other people is that they desire it from others, but they cannot get it from every day¡¯s lives. Other people laugh the fat man all the time, so it is impossible for him to get respect from them; and other people treat the waitress like a maid, so she cannot get respect either. But they all like others being nice to them. Moreover, the ways that they show respect to each other are normal, like they do to everyone. Neither appearance nor occupation can be changed easily. Maybe they are not they want, but neither of them can help it. What they need is not compassion from others, but to treat them as normal people like the fat man and the waitress treating each other.

Showing respect to people can be as easy as just saying ¡°thank you¡± or ¡°please¡±. But these words can really make difference to one¡¯s life. There are also lots of people that are considered to be different from majorities, by race, by religion, or even by deformity. What they want is not exactly sympathies or specially treatments, but the feeling that they are like normal people. Just like the girl in the ¡°fat¡± and the fat man. They don¡¯t want people to look at them differently, but like anybody else. The girl feels happy even after the fat man says ¡°thank you¡±, the words that most people can hear from every day¡¯s life. It is valuable for her because she wants to be treated normal. Since ¡°normal people¡± get respect everyday, she wants to be respected too.

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